Maybe I Can Stand In Your Storm

July 25, 2023

​

​

I’d choose honesty despite its uncomfortable force of nature stronger than gravity. Then doubt myself if I’m being reckless or pretentious – to push and pull, keeping it indecisive.

 

And I know you know me well, how I never trust nobody, except me. How I’d say I will stand on my ground and then fire off missiles at myself.

 

But I know you better like the back of my hand. I know you’d stay for a little longer while I pull the trigger once more. And suddenly, I’m on my own again – a familiar place I never seemed to master. A place where silence narrates the looping stories and where there is darker in pitch black. 

 

I knew it… somehow.

 

But the touch of a visit will always feel unbeknownst to me even when I see it coming.

 

It was a vicious cycle, and I was bleeding until I couldn't.

 

I am not bleeding anymore.

 

I finally muster up the courage to carve my path alone that leads to the truth that resides in the abyss, while clinging to inexplicable faith in God, universe, and nature. Praying that I won’t just find the way out, but to come out alive.

 

And maybe I’ll find you there.

 

I hope that I can find you there.

​

(No, I wish I won't find you there.)

​

I will find you there.

 

And maybe, by then, I can finally stand in your storms while I was dealing on my own.